Monday, September 15, 2008

A Hair Raising Tale

Remember that old Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young song from back in the 70's?

Almost cut my hair
Happened just the other day
It's getting kind of long
I could have said it was in my way.

I didn't "almost" cut my hair unfortunately. Quite the opposite in fact!
I probably haven't actually paid for a hair cut for the last 10 years and considering my balding pate it just would be a waste of money to do so.
I have an old pair of electric clippers that I got from my dad. They are perhaps 50 or so years old and really need to be cleaned and sharpened. They have cut my hair maybe a thousand times over that 50 year span and I have a sentimental attachment to them.
I remember the marathon haircuts I had to submit to and these haircuts always ended with the same result! A "butch". Why it took my father so damn long to basically give me a Marine Corps style haircut is beyond me but to a kid my age it took, what seemed like, forever. He always left just enough in the front to grease up with this grease/wax gel appropriately called butch wax! I wonder if they still sell that stuff? I can still smell that pasty pink crap to this day.
Dad had a regular barber kit with trimmers, brushes and scissors that he seldom used and I always wondered why he didn't cut his own hair. He had a kind of crew cut looking thing that he wore for almost his entire adult life until my mother nagged (something she was an expert at) him into letting his hair grow out.
When I took my last butch haircut when preparing for freshman football I was more than happy to never have to sit in that damn yellow high chair in the garage again while the neighborhood kids could laugh at me.....oh the indignity of it all.
As I grew older I embraced the whole counter culture thing with very long hair. My dad would say he didn't care if my hair got so long that I had to part it to use the restroom.
So fast forward to the other night. I figured it was time for my quarterly shearing and proceeded to use my antique and unsharpened clippers for a trim of what little hair I have left. I couldn't seem to get them to cut my hair and thought they were clogged or maybe my old clippers were about to give up the ghost. I took a practice swipe across my head and after it was too late I realized that I had not replaced the plastic guard back on the head that would keep me from trimming too close.
Here is the end result!

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