If I were elected or anointed Grand Imperial Exalted Ruler of all things fly fishing I think there would be some laws I would enact for the betterment of the sport.
Here is a glimpse of some of them.
1.No indicators on bamboo rods
****photo removed because person might be embarassed from using an indicator on a bamboo rod****
This just might be a capitol offense.
2.Ban all flies tied to look like trout pellets
Offender would be forced to eat a bowl of real trout pellets covered in shrimp scent
3.No fly fishing pictures where the angler has the rod in his mouth
Violators will be forced to fish with Snoopy rods and Powerbait for the rest of their lives
4.No more helicoptering into remote fishing locations
If you cannot reach a place by foot, boat or automobile maybe it's meant to be left alone....ya think?
5.All fly anglers required to read at least one Haig-Brown book a year
We could all benefit from doing this.
6.No using terms like "Rip some lips"
Offenders will have their lips ripped
7.Must call rivers by their full names and not dumb abbreviations like "The 'Tucca(Nestucca) The Big "D" (Deschutes) or The "Willy"(The Wilson or Willamette)
Offenders will be forced to drink water from the Willamette after a rainstorm
8.When purchasing a spey rod the angler has to swear an oath to not attach an indicator of any kind to it
Violators will have a "Thingamabobber" attached to their private parts
9.Fly anglers are prohibited from describing themselves a "Trout Bums" if they are not actual "Trout Bums"
Offender will have to do community service at a soup kitchen
10.Fly fishermen shall never use pencil lead to get their fly on the bottom
If convicted the offender will be forced to wear a Buzz Ramsey cowboy hat for the rest of their lives and be an administrator on ifish.net
Well there you have it loyal angling subjects. I am going to hire former Blackwater employees to keep tabs along the river.
This post is tongue in cheek so don't get offended and send anonymous hate mail comments to me.