Shane...the Elitist Wannabe

Yep I confess! You see that gentleman in the tweeds and jaunty hat? That's me...well sort of.
In Jack Ohman's new book "Angler Management" he devotes a chapter to the fly fishing elitist and while I may want to be an elitist my bank account says otherwise.
How do I know I want to be an elitist you might ask? Here are a few examples.
I am self conscious about not owning Simms G-3 breathable waders. Seems ridiculous huh? hey all the good fly guys have Simms. Mike McCune wears Simms and so does Ed Ward and Lani Waller.
I smoke a brier pipe while out on the river and it makes me look the part.
Can't afford a real expensive one though like Bill Bakke smokes.
I try to talk about hatches in the way of someone who knows what the hell he is talking about. Yeah I'll drop the occasional Callibaetis or Hexagenia limbata then step back while the person I am talking to marvels at my expertise which they never do.
I do have a couple of bamboo fly rods to thoroughly impress the salmon fishermen on the coast but it is all for naught and I'll usually get the "Can you throw eggs with that stick har har?"
Kind of tough to impress a guy with an inch of dried salmon egg goo on his fishing rod.
I make every effort to drop names like Haig-Brown or Lee Wulff but so far it hasn't gotten me an invitation to join the elite Deschutes Club and I cannot understand why.
Maybe if I carried around a bottle of 18 year old Macallan that would get some acceptance don't you think?
I don't know if I am making any progress in my pilgrimage to fly fishing elitism. I wasn't invited to contribute a Green Butt Skunk to Joel LaFollette's Dan Callaghan commemorative fly plate. Wonder why he wouldn't want on of my flies but would take one from the likes of Bill McMillan or Frank Moore? Do you think word got out that I shopped at the Dollar Tree and Harbor Freight for fly tying supplies?
I might have to disguise myself when going in those stores because I certainly wouldn't want to screw up my ascension to fly fishing elitist.
I would like to think I am well on my way to becoming the real Henning Hale Orviston of "The River Why" fame. Should I tell anyone that I shop at Cabela's?